


Diamond on a Landmine

by sugarbombs



Category: Steven Universe - Fandom
Genre: Alien Gender/Sexuality, Death, F/F, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied abuse, Multi, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Physical Abuse, Sexual Content, Sexual Violence, Warnings May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-03-28
Packaged: 2018-10-02 11:44:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10217291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarbombs/pseuds/sugarbombs
Summary: Unbeknownst to Yellow, Blue knew that she hated it. Well, now they both had a reason to abhor sitting in her chambers, attempting to talk or spend time together as though nothing had happened at all.





	1. Lingering

There were a lot of things that she did after the Earth colony failed, things White Diamond ignored. Yellow would sit with her some days in painful silence, impatient as she used that awful-smelling chemical to paint fingernails she formed after seeing humans for the first time. They were long and Blue was dedicated, an eternal life enough to get good enough at it that there was never an errant stroke.

She hated that about her, but adored it. Of course, Yellow could spend her own time poring over her own interests, but there was something annoying in her insistent silence. It was as though she compared this menial, useless activity to higher work which they honestly needed to better pay attention to.

"Speaking does not, to me, seem an obstacle in the careful eye of your concentrated storm."

She paused, brush stopping, as her bright eyes lolled up to look at Yellow. "You wouldn't know," she eventually sighed. "Your calligraphy is as horrible as your decorative skills."

"I do not need to write neatly to get my point across."

"You will be remembered as a tall, tyrannical leader that conquered many planets but had such awful handwriting that a team of doctors could consult and still prescribe the wrong medication to our dying mother."

There was a time that Blue made jokes but these days they were more sarcastic quips than anything. They didn't talk about Pink and it was better that way. It seemed so, at the very least, though she didn't like to hear Blue talk like this. It was discomforting, the normally serene Blue Diamond taking on a tone better suited for herself or -- heavens forbid -- White. She was silent for a while, constructing the best answer as Blue went back to flicking the brush delicately. There were several shades, and it was so frivolous, why could she not change her modifiers?

Perhaps, to fill the time between necessary court appearances, she'd begun to explore options to waste her time further. Leisure was one thing but it was so ridiculous, this inane act of repetitive hell that with every flick could have resembled water torture.

Unbeknownst to Yellow, Blue knew that she hated it. Well, now they both had a reason to abhor sitting in her chambers, attempting to talk or spend time together as though nothing had happened at all. She could do this any other time but she chose to do it then, because every time it all seemed to flake off, Yellow would make another appearance. It happened like clockwork and despite her best efforts, she just wouldn't leave her alone.

Well, the bubble was filling. She was grateful for the burning yellow flame that blew smoke in the air, that almost suffocated her empathic ability, showing absolutely nothing as she continued. She was almost done with one hand, and seemed very pleased with the shades of blue she had chosen. Very boring, but there was a little bottle of pink paint on her table that made Yellow very nervous. Oh, the games they played.

Every time she would put the brush down, she'd skillfully adjust her arm so it would almost look as though she were to use it. The corruption in the room sat between them, a pretty shade probably selected after hours of poring. She never did anything without forethought, a curse but a blessing of hers at the same time. It wouldn't be her if she just outright said it, the thought that made Yellow burn hotter and made her cold. Cold, just like everything around them... She paused over the thumb of her right hand, looking up at Yellow.

"What, is it that you have something to say to me? If you are insistent upon bothering my free time, at least say something worth hearing to me. You're more genuine than that, aren't you?"

They locked gazes and she didn't smile, nor frown. She received Yellow's scrutinizing eyes, which assessed her like some sort of foreign space crudely planned out on actual paper. Though she knew she was not a thing, the continued interruptions as the cycles drug on into years and decades had begun to wear into her that Yellow felt she could do whatever she pleased. It wasn't a surprise nor a problem that hadn't already existed, but there was something ice cold within Blue that wanted to resist someone she had been so close to for so long. 

The very look of her could send Blue into a wave of disgust and nausea, it could send her back to that damned Human Zoo and atop that big pink pillow like it actually meant something again. The pink glow of those fated gems that floated in the sky could light up the damned walls that shone from consistent and prided upkeep, like some sort of Judas that couldn't hurt you but crept upon you menacingly as you lounged beneath it. Fear? What was that feeling? Perhaps it is guilt. Perhaps it is loneliness. Maybe, understanding, though there was something in the way she worshiped those glowing columns and stared off into space.

There was no angel there, there never was. But sometimes a bubble would float and in the expanse of tears she would almost see her again and White Diamond was convinced she was a lost cause. At least, the last few private meetings had concurred that she wasn't coping and leaving Homeworld every time her personal demons leapt into view without any warning or mercy wasn't acceptable by any means. So it was up to Yellow and they both knew that, the wall between them hacked away slowly by her forced indifference and Yellow's calculated misery. They had grown apart, distant in their pain.

"You haven't made light of death since her passing."

There, she said it. It was there, and there wasn't any taking it back. She didn't get the response her cold gem dreamt of but at least her head tilted just a bit, eyes shutting. They didn't need to breathe and Blue still inhaled and exhaled as she usually did when Yellow had hit a mark. When her eyes had opened again, she had almost touched her skin. Unacceptable. Remaining silent, the goal of finishing this remained ever present, but Yellow kept talking.

"Do you believe that I and White shall die like her, by a mongrel not unlike the reapers still bubbled in that silly Zoo?"

She thought of that place, how delightful the barbarians were when they bred and minded their 'children'. What a wonderful idea, the concept of a family, though she doubted they could truly emulate the Diamonds' familial understanding and dynamic. They were far too complicated! If a human being could be deterred by a simple fence, leaving her free to visit Pink's palanquin as she pleased, there wasn't a chance that they could truly understand each other. After all, they had crushed many under their gigantic boots.

Blue wondered briefly if Pink would have liked how nature overtook her final sanctuary, and Yellow leaned forward, placing her chin atop her two folded hands. Blue was on her index finger now, the blessed void their relationship had become growing bigger by the nanosecond. Perhaps this is what would be best, she thought to herself.

Meeting Yellow's eyes was like admitting that she had failed in a task that could not possibly have been performed, but admitted nonetheless. "There isn't a chance of it. While I doubt White Diamond's sanity as she fluidly changes gender or makes choices more befitting of a junior Diamond, you must know that we are safe. Things aren't how they -- "

"You hate that I keep those Quartzes bubbled, though you seem not to understand why. Even in your reclusivity, you find it within yourself to visit me on a schedule, since she died." she was on the middle finger, now. "Yet... You understand so little. I know you try. You do so try..."

She made a disapproving noise as a drop almost dripped onto her skin. Yellow wasn't one to easily flinch, but the show of emotion was so blunt, from a woman like Blue.

"Reapers. An interesting way to put it. I need the reminder, Yellow, that it only took one to pierce her gem and end the life of a potentially prodigous leader. Personal feelings aside, eternity is not eternity if there is the threat of a dangerous and humiliating death." Blue took on a tone befitting White, which caused Yellow to grimace and look elsewhere, a deep sigh apparently an unsuitable reason for the other to cease speaking. "Court does so bore me, our insistence on a futile attempt to save this dynasty when it appears to be too late, anyways. I am not spending what years any of us have left on a conquest that may not actually pay off. I need the reminder."

"Are you that upset?"

"I see not how it could possibly be any less clear. I pity you," said Blue, as she reached her pinky. Finally, the last puzzle piece. "But you can't help it. You've the emotional range of a lower soldier and the power of a Diamond, which are two things against you already."

Her hand hovered over the pink paint and Yellow was obviously offended but she didn't touch it yet. Suddenly, the expensive luxury in front of her seemed like a monument built atop thousands of shattered gems and gored human skeletons. She didn't notice her hand beginning to shake and didn't see Yellow's hands coming to clasp around her own. The shaking stilled but she seemed to be somewhere else. Coming to, her eyes darted up and she pulled her hand away. It ended all too soon, the only physical contact they'd had in a very long time, only their pinkies holding onto each other before Blue snapped out of it fully and whipped her arm away.

"Why have you been doing this?" she slowly asked, voice cutting through the heavy air like a knife. "Coming to see me. You will not answer White's calls, unless it is an emergency or some sort of disaster. I have to send a body to retrieve you any other time. Your reclusivity has become a problem for every court. Why? Is it guilt? Is it some attempt to come close to me after the tragedy, an attempt to court my attention?"

"More years have passed than you think, Blue. Perhaps I am a recluse, in my own right, but I come because I..."

Her words died in the air as they both heard the noise and vibration of an important message through Yellow's communicator. One of the only shrill noises they both knew she would never ignore, as it meant word from the front lines. Blue almost hoped, leaning forward, that she wouldn't answer it and for once would be less than hypocritical... But she was disappointed as Yellow answered the call.

It meant, as Yellow got up, that this was over and the conversation was on hold for however long it took them both to meet again. She could see the confused emotion on Blue's face and her own anxieties took hold. All these years and she still was never more grateful for a call from a busy and demanding warlord.

"I am needed. Forgive me, Blue."

"Don't come back with your frivolity until you have an actual answer for me," she said, finally picking up the pink polish. Yellow felt something fragile between them strain and could no longer look at that dreadful color, turning away from her as she began to exit Blue's chambers. Blue didn't finish until she was at the doors, her voice emotionless, "For you will not be allowed in."

At least there was an opportunity for her next entrance. Honestly too distracted by this for the war she commanded and lingered over, the doors shut behind her with a resounding clang and she was alone in a silent hallway. Perhaps, later, they would finally talk about the gap between them, shaped like a shattered Diamond and colored blood red.


	2. Insecurity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even White Diamond had trouble saying no to her beaming face. Ignorant in her youth, Pink learned fast under the six guiding hands of the only other diamonds she knew. Of course Yellow missed her, after many nights settling in with her as another day cycle ended. They all did.

When Yellow arrived again, a bit of time had passed. The visit was not simply because she wanted to see her, but because she wanted to celebrate. Because she'd made the sacrifice of leaving, furthering Blue's apparent anger and/or apathy, her army had been successful. Right now, applying the healing salve to their crippled authority took precedent over any personal feelings. Pleasing White Diamond, above all, was key to a successful and altogether long life as a leader of the Authority.

Blue's Pearl stood there, waiting for her as she wrung her hands. She wasn't excited about this, but neither were any other of her servants. Their relationship was extremely complicated, something to talk about when the night cycle came, whispers in the darkened hallways accompanied by the fear of being caught. It was too easy to get killed in this environment, and many handmaidens found themselves shattered for as simple a crime as speaking at the wrong time.

These days were always touch and go. Sometimes, rarely, they got along and things were alright for a time, her owner much calmer. When Yellow Diamond was happy, they all were, and Blue Pearl was altogether too pleased to serve them when she had finally graced her hallways. The Imperial Palaces were like a maze, something that thankfully gave the leader time to think before actually arriving there.

The doors were opened quietly and she stepped inside, looking about. It appeared she wasn't here yet. It didn't bother her, as she had been in here many times without Blue's presence, but it still felt strange. Approaching her palanquin, she sat down on the soft cushions, leaning against a pillar. Eventually, gentle footsteps echoed in the air as Yellow toyed with one of the pillow's tassels, and she stopped.

Blue Diamond gazed upon her with a practiced sort of annoyance, as if she'd expected this. Seeming to glide across the floor in that dress of hers, she sat down next to her but gazed only outwardly. "Did you think about what I had to say?"

“Yes,” said Yellow carefully. Blue was always hard to read, especially with that veil on. She had the urge to simply rip it off but she didn’t, remembering the last scolding she’d received from White for interrupting Blue’s grief. “But honestly, the way you react to me suggests you dislike my presence. Does it truly matter what the answer is?”

“Of course it does. I have to say that I’m slightly offended you’d ask me that when I said in great and clear detail what I wanted. I, out of all people, should know what matters to me.” Her hands gripped and stroked the smooth fabric of her veil, a common nervous tic.

“It’s as if you’re determined to take offense in everything I say…”

“Someone has to disagree with you,” said Blue, annoyed.

“I come because I care for you. I want the best for you, yet you remain so sour, and it drives me to temporary insanity when nothing can be done for you. You’re not the only one that misses her.”

Pink diamond was something special, and she brought something so unique to the table even though she died so miserably young. The key to their fragile, four party connection, even in death they united in one purpose and one purpose only: her. It wasn’t unheard of for the Diamonds to care for each other but something radiated in the path she walked. They had all craved her, loved her. Perhaps it was her unique power, or maybe it was just a natural born ability that blossomed not unlike the flowers she insisted on keeping.

Even White Diamond had trouble saying no to her beaming face. Ignorant in her youth, she learned fast under the six guiding hands of the only other diamonds she knew. Of course Yellow missed her, after many nights settling in with her as another day cycle ended. They all did.

“I don’t know how to be around you anymore, Yellow. What do I say? What do I do? Imagine thousands of years of awkward contact, we both left alone as White distances herself further. It’s almost shameful, how we attempt interaction, as if you honestly loved me before our sister was born. Do you not agree? I could never be what she was… And neither can you.”

“I’ve never walked into this room under any pretense that I expected something out of this, that I’m looking for someone else in those ghostly eyes of yours. I would rather suffer years of awkward, stilted small talk than live in absolute silence. You were right, things aren’t as they were before. The state is dwindling. Perhaps I still thought you cared about our people.”

“Don’t say such things to me so carelessly,” she snapped.

“I’m nothing if not entirely sincere. I want nothing more than for for you to rise to your former glory, outside the shadow that was her death. The sun will refuse to shine until you do so, and refuel your commitment to your public life. Your occasional smile keeps me coming in this dreary place, where your sadness sticks to the walls like grease. Unlike White, I have not abandoned you.”

She began to slip the veil off, looking at the smooth floor. It was shined so nicely she could almost see herself, anything but Yellow’s determined face. “I just want to go back to how things were,” she eventually said. “But I don’t think that’s possible anymore. I just don’t know what to do in the face of this terrible monster, or how to approach my subjects with anything but melancholy laced apathy…”

And there they were, in Yellow’s amazement, finally saying things of worth to each other. “They can’t be that way, no. But they can be something different, something new. Maybe even a hopeful something, if you just work with me. Be with me, honestly,” she attempted to explain. “Your cries are ghastly, when filled with the sadness only you can project. I’m not your enemy… I am your family. We will rise again, because that is what pink would have wanted. We have to give her that, blue.”

Once the material had dropped around her lap, she turned her face to look at Yellow fully. Her eyes were red and she was a mess. Thinner than usual, even. Yellow rose her left hand to touch her face, stroking her smooth skin. They didn’t say anything for a long while, Blue thinking on this heavily. What yellow said made sense, however much she hated to admit it. After the war she heavily disliked entering the battlefield, too sick to her stomach over what they’d done in the final wave. She wasn’t proud of it.

Pink did everything she could in the smallest time allowed her decadent, loving life. Fascinated by all organic things, she just knew how to make an individual happy. With a calming voice matched by her ephemeral beauty, she got fantastic results even when faced with the impossible. Though conquest was always their goal, she managed to live a lazy life. The joke between the other three often fell to speculations over when she actually did any work, but it was all in fun.

She was always right about a lot of things, and Yellow suspected she held some psychic power. Possibly even more than blue did, which led to her personal conclusion that pink drank in their emotions as though she lived off them. It did no favors for poor Blue, who reacted to her in such an obsessive and love drunk fashion. Yellow had to admit how taken she’d been, remembering only sometimes the way it felt when Pink and Blue’s hands interacted and mixed on her skin. Those heated and dark nights haunted her, always failing to discern her actual feelings from the other two’s psychic influence.

“I know,” she finally said, in a quiet voice Yellow barely recognized. She was, hopefully, beginning to give in. “But what can we possibly do? Is there really a way to fix this drastic decline?”

“Yes,” said Yellow, who took her hands and squeezed them tightly. Blue wished she’d take off the gloves, but she knew how Yellow felt about taking them off. “But we have to work to find something to change this soon. We may have to lead our people,” she explained. “I want to give you everything, but I need a foothold on something solid until I can pull us back up. Let me… Please let me pull you up.”

Her words brought a small, if not solemn, smile to her face. She moved closer to Yellow, who stroked her hands so calmly. “I just never thought… It would end that way.”

“Sometimes it has to happen. But you’ll never get a chance at righting that wrong without letting yourself move on.”

Finally, Blue settled against her, her face tucked neatly into Yellow’s chest. Her head tucked under her chin and yellow stroked her hair. Of course she had been brought to tears again, but the wise military leader didn’t say anything in response to that. Her apathetic cruelty could wait for another time, perhaps when Blue could smile again and respond in kind. When she finally calmed herself, it took a good moment for her silence to return.

“Why doesn’t white care about us anymore?” She whispered.

“She aches more than we could ever imagine,” said Yellow softly. “She does care. I have to think that, no, I know that…”

“I suppose we are all irritable in our loneliness,” Blue sighed. She pulled back a bit, her large, glittering eyes pointed upwards as she looked at Yellow. It made her so nervous, imagining a day where she could trust the other again. Their closeness dwindled before these visits began so long ago, a hollowed figurative heard dying slowly as the blood stopped pumping towards it.

“I’m not going to leave you again.”

It was as if Yellow knew what she wanted to hear, and it threatened making her cry again. Blue didn’t know when she had become so tortured by that wet phenomenon, but it was how things were, the wet trails ruining her complexion. Yellow cupped her cheeks in her own two hands, thumbs stroking her skin. They had been more than physical so very long ago, though it ended in such a dangerous dark place that Blue rarely liked to acknowledge. They could be so bad for each other, throwing their bruised counterpart out of their chambers with resounding roars that could scare the mightiest of soldiers. It was just how it was sometimes, their personalities never quite fitting together properly. It was a puzzle they couldn’t solve, even though they longed to finish it.

They could only stare at each other for the longest time, trying to figure out between them if it was the best of ideas to get close again. It was something they both ached for, physical and emotional touch. There wasn’t a concubine that could compare to another Diamond, however pleasing they were. There wasn’t a thing Blue could do when Yellow’s face ghosted closer to her own. Their faces, their very bodies were different but pleasing in their complexity. When their lips touched, it was Blue snaking her arms around Yellow, fingers digging into the fabric on her back as though to pull her forward.

Blue exhaled as Yellow sucked on her lower lip, letting go with a resounding pop. Her right hand let go of Yellow to touch her own lips, trying to come to terms with the fact that it had just happened. Her eyes teared up and Yellow brushed it away, but frowned. “Oh, enough with that! I’ll do this on one condition -- cry only when the situation calls for it. Please,” she pleaded. “If you do this much longer, the Blue Palace will drown and your servants will sadly wash away with the salty tide that is your sadness.”

She hiccuped, smiling slowly. When it didn’t stop, her normally sad face contorting into a toothed smile, Yellow couldn’t help but laugh. Her hearty chuckle received an even rarer giggle. For the first time in ages, their visit didn’t end as the night cycle began. For once, their Pearls could sigh in relief, as their mistress’ voices echoed in the dim light for no one but each other.


	3. Options

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue fought with herself over this, over the many nights they'd end up fighting, sometimes enough so that White would show up at full height and separate them like children. Almost happily so, as though she enjoyed doing this, play-acting at some sort of family when they were so deeply fragmented they'd not seen her face in a very long time.

It was difficult to explain to White, her decision to continue visiting Blue even when she wasn't wanted. But it was thrilling to keep it hushed, the only two privy to it handmaidens that would and could rather die than spill their secrets. The images stored within their gems could damn them a thousand times, and Yellow loved her little toy. Yellow Pearl knew when to talk and when to listen, knowing her insignificant but important place.

She and Blue Pearl rarely got along but they were forced to, as Yellow visited Blue more. It was still so touch and go, because the familiar tension could fill the air just as anything happy could. It was scary sometimes, when claws would fly and they would be at each other's throats in a purely violent, vicious manner. The two Pearls stood frightened outside of the translucent, layered fabrics, the words and noises so intimately known by their servants that it was impossible not to somewhat live their lives as well.

Today, Yellow Pearl dared to speak.

"They... Are difficult. I love my Diamond... I do not love this scenario."

Their voices were so quiet, as were any gossiping Pearl, quiet in the dim light. Blue Pearl could only nod, her head pointing away from her as if to encourage silence. The other did find her tongue and keep it hushed, but that angry gaze of hers pointed elsewhere. Inside the chambers, Blue Diamond stood above her, face brimming with tears.

"It wasn't a fair price paid," she snapped. "I want... To be able to remember it."

"She would want you to be happy," Yellow said, tiredly, though there was an angry snap towards the end of it. "But you wallow here, feeling terrible for the meat sacks that are human beings you keep in that foul place."

Their eyes connected when Blue's palm connected with Yellow's face. The guards in the outer hallway stirred, but Yellow Pearl held up a hand. Not yet. It wasn't bad enough, yet. White Diamond's rules as to their behavior were very clear, the lines they'd have to cross before interference was appropriate very black and white, far away. She didn't move her hand when she'd hit her hard, Yellow pointedly looking in the direction the force of Blue's hand sent it in. Her chest heaved as she stood there, lips trembling. But the tears had stopped.

Good.

"Do you feel that?" said Yellow, who snaked her hand up to grab Blue's wrist. She forced it away, muscles bulging just a bit. Blue's eyes didn't move, and she didn't say anything as this occurred. She wasn't ready, Yellow knew that. She sharply twisted her arm until Blue was down, body crouched awkwardly as she tried to pull away. It seemed that the longer she held her there, the more Blue succumbed to a special anger that only Yellow could pull away from her. "You care about your fixations. You care enough to hit me."

"Let me go," she said, voice trembling into a dark tone that rarely hit. She was remembering why it wasn't the best choice, being so close to her sister. They dealt with things so differently, the electricity between them much like radiation, searching and poisonous. "Now, Yellow."

"Make me."

The silence was thick enough to cut with a knife, perhaps even Yellow's sword. Blue felt like driving the other through, if only with her bared claws alone. Her free hand snaked down and she roughly pushed her down, yanking her other arm back in the process. She pressed down hard enough to warn her, those sharp points like knives through her clothing. However, Yellow still did not let go, pulling harder until Blue gave a whine, her free arm rising and falling with a quickness. There was a sharp gasp and Yellow did let go, Blue stumbling backwards as Yellow looked down at herself. Ripped gold clothing, her exposed skin, shone dully in the amber light. Her blood barely dripped, but it was enough to make her touch it. Rubbing the slick fingers together, she removed her gloves.

Their eyes connected again and Blue felt terrible. It wasn't enough, however, for her to apologize. They both stayed in their respective spaces, as Blue held her arm. Yellow didn't seem to care about the mess, as she slowly removed her clothing. Piece by piece, Blue felt her body warm sharply, and felt guilty for falling back into old habits with Yellow. It always began like this, getting so close. It formed into codependency and she couldn't help it. The vague whisper memory of their fusion sang, lamenting, in their heads, though they rarely could sync that well anymore.

She couldn't help falling into old patterns if it meant that in their affection, Yellow would remove those awful gloves. As these were her quarters she was most allowed to do so, but she had mixed transmissions from Yellow, unsure of what to say or do. She hadn't meant to scratch that hard but the other had scared her in her calculating anger, how she could so calmly hold her there and emote nothingness towards her pain. When the ache finally went away, and she could look at the other again, she had gone so far in her mind that she'd not noticed Yellow's moving up and towards her.

Yellow Diamond wasn't a woman who appreciated any kind of mess. A wound even of small magnitude could trigger a color war, something neither of them could handle. Blue felt like she was choking, even though they had no need to breathe. It was healing quickly, though the sight had scared her enough. They were eye to eye, and the pause between them felt like an unmovable ocean. She realized how sickly she must look in the lights of Yellow's room, complemented towards her, of course. In shame, her head turned, but the hand with blood took her face, even as it flaked away into gold dust.

Forcing Blue to look at her, she was in her face. It was a fierce look Blue hardly recognized, the life simply sucked away from Yellow after the tragedy. It drew her back to a different time, when their aggressions were so null, after Pink's arrival. The peacekeeper, who encouraged not only a blue but a yellow hand also upon her breasts. Without that element, that natural empathy, they were two aggressive currents that couldn't quite match up.

“I'm sorry,” said Blue.

“Don't apologize,” said Yellow, as her free left hand took Blue's right, putting it on the healing gashes. “This is the most I've felt from you in a very long time.”

“But it wasn't right of me to --”

Cut off by a kiss, Yellow pulled her close, one hand slowly dragging her fingertips almost menacingly down her back, through her dress. It made Blue's breath hitch and when she didn't pull away, Yellow simply slashed downwards. Two thin lines, dripping a drop or two of navy blood, appeared. Like Yellow, it was nothing for her body to begin to heal but the shock was enough for her to push the other away.

Blue had a somewhat crazed look in her eyes, remembering how deeply they both felt. How White had been forced to intervene on the forest fire that was their interactions, neither of them truly able to let go of their grudges without fighting over it. In the dim glow of Yellow's chambers, they stood in front of each other, as Blue's dress slowly fell off of her. She'd cut it so severely that it sank down her breasts, to her hips, catching it with shaking hands.

“It's only fair,” said Yellow casually. “I had to remove my gloves, even. Tsk, Blue Diamond, you forget who I am.”

“Who we were,” she muttered.

“What was that?”

Of course she heard that. She didn't expect this to go well, or easily. Blue paled a bit, if that was possible, face flushing enough that the bags under her eyes weren't as apparent. “Yellow... We can't do this again.” her words were so restrained, as if she had so much more to say. Ah, it was just how she was; Blue Diamond, hailed as the calm overseer, holding the last vestiges of her emotion back behind some sort of memory they both knew would eventually crack again.

Maybe this time, it could be different.

Yellow said nothing, continuing to gaze at her. Blue hated that, the way Yellow could read every little thing about her body in such a way. A warrior to her core, she had to understand everything about her surroundings and much to Blue's chagrin, she loved to take her work home with her. The dark fabric barely covering her nipples was held down with one hand, the skirt with the other. She could summon modifiers, of course, but that wasn't on her mind and Yellow knew it.

Blue fought with herself over this, over the many nights they'd end up fighting, sometimes enough so that White would show up at full height and separate them like children. Almost happily so, as though she enjoyed doing this, play-acting at some sort of family when they were so deeply fragmented they'd not seen her face in a very long time.

She wasn't a violent person, tending to tread more towards the diplomatic side of things. But Yellow seemed to know how to play every nerve, and her face was heated with a special sort of anger and humiliation. Yellow stretched, her gem glowing in the light as she lazily gestured to her. “You are tattered and in ruin, gazing upon me with the same malice I remember, from before... Her.”

“Stop talking about her,” Blue pleaded, but it came out in a snarl she barely recognized, herself. Lunging at Yellow, the material fell and she was partially naked, the other laughing even as those blue hands snaked around her throat. Though they didn't need air it shut her up, her thick thighs wrapping around Yellow's body, her eyebrows furrowing as she gazed down. “I just want to grieve!”

Those usually infuriated eyes, at this point, did not come. She remained calm, though her voice was a choke, the laugh continuing. Her chest heaved upwards and Blue let go of her neck almost on accident, as Yellow wrenched herself up, arms first, out of her straddle. “We all grieve in our own ways,” Yellow snapped, her voice a quiet sort of dripping malice. “And the way you grieve infuriates me.”

She'd done it. Blue's eyes widened and she realized they were in Yellow's palanquin completely. A yellow leg snapped up and she'd been shoved away, Yellow rising with a quickness. Blue rose to attempt to defend herself but it was no use, her wrists taken so tightly they almost hurt. A knee drove between Blue's, and she leaned down. Shutting her eyes, the other's head turned away. Holding both of her thin wrists in one hand, Yellow's free hand snaked down to her face and she took to stroking her skin.

“Look at me,” she asked, softly.

Blue's eyes fully shut and she shook her head. She didn't want to acknowledge the thinning space between them.

“Look at me,” she commanded.

Her head turned but that was it. Stroking her lips with a fingertip, she leaned down and kissed her softly, the hand around Blue's wrists loosening. Those big, blue eyes began to open and she examined Yellow, beginning to return the kiss. Her voice was terrifying but it drew her closer, the authority there something she strove to emulate from not only she but White herself. Yellow needed her calm, and Blue needed her anger. When she was let go, Blue's arms wrapped around her and she was roughly pulled closer, breaking only to smash their lips together in a harder kiss.

That brief, violent act had tapped into something that neither of them were sure they wanted but there was nothing for them to notice except for their lips connecting, their tongues sliding together, lips sucked to swollen state. Her legs squeezed together again, around Yellow's knee, and she pulled herself away from the kiss to push her legs apart once more. In a swift motion, she'd ripped off the remaining material of Blue's dress and they were both bare in front of each other. Leaning up, she gazed upon Blue's unmarred body, her gem shining in the dim amber light.

Leaning down, she began to stroke at Blue's skin, almost as if she wanted to relearn her body. It was curious, her interest, but Blue wasn't in a position to question what Yellow wanted. As her hands stroked across Blue's breasts, she shivered beneath the ghost-light touches. Gathering one of those blue handfuls, she thumbed over her nipple and leaned back down until their faces almost touched.

“Do you want this?”

She was hesitant, even looking away for a moment. “Yes,” said Blue, eventually.


	4. Adoration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rising up a bit, they both were at eye level and she stroked Yellow's face with a rising left hand, the other touching her shoulder, thinking, almost somewhere else in that damaged light of hers. Yellow felt a gentle push, a suggestion, and an eyebrow cocked. Blue pushed her back gently, gazing down at her still form, betrayed only by toned musculature tensing and relaxing with every touch of her hands. It was Blue's turn to examine her, those eyes so far away.

“Very well.”

The words were formal but filled with such a grateful relief, they both could have sighed but were too busy returning the connection of their kiss. She pushed Blue's hair away from her body and Blue pulled the pins out of her own. The grunt that followed was Yellow's displeasure, but Blue loved those long, blonde tresses. There was shortly a pull at that hair, and Blue Diamond bit deeply into the side of her neck, sucking with a forlorn longing. Her tongue ran along the length of her jawline and her arm was smacked away almost dangerously when the pull became too sharp.

In the second that followed, Blue's hands had curled around Yellow's breasts and she thought about her options carefully. Her eyes took a rare glint that seemed to light her companion on fire, her yellow gem flashing as she inhaled deeply and exhaled even slower. It almost felt like it did at first, when they were both so new and stepping on egg shells around each other as White watched, so entranced. Strange, foreign, after so much time. There had been far too many instances of picking up the pieces, leading to their long, long separation.

Rising up a bit, they both were at eye level and she stroked Yellow's face with a rising left hand, the other touching her shoulder, thinking, almost somewhere else in that damaged light of hers. Yellow felt a gentle push, a suggestion, and an eyebrow cocked. Blue pushed her back gently, gazing down at her still form, betrayed only by toned musculature tensing and relaxing with every touch of her hands. It was Blue's turn to examine her, those eyes so far away.

She could feel the heat between Blue's legs, the slow drip that had begun earlier, much to her embarrassment. Teasingly, Yellow took a hold of her hips and ground upwards, causing a little gasp. Of course, she didn't know what she wanted, debating... But when Yellow was about to take the reins, she was down hard and there was no longer any pretense as an icy line slipped from Blue's lips, honestly surprising them both.

“It will be different this time.”

“Of course it w --”

“That wasn't a question.”

Her voice almost wavered but she kept it solid, attempting to settle a boundary between them before the lines became too blurred and she couldn't wrench herself free from their slithering, vine-like relationship. Perhaps it didn't matter, but it made her feel better, hand rising to cover Yellow's mouth as she leaned down and began to kiss slowly at the skin of her long neck. The other's eyes shut as her soft, slick lips pressed against her warm construct. There in the darkness, they knew themselves; Feeling her fangs begin to grow against her skin was the tell-all. Perhaps she'd forgiven her after all, shuddering when those sharp points dragged but did not penetrate her skin.

Blue felt hungry, though the memories of a time lost long ago flooded her. She couldn't go through with this again if she couldn't keep the thoughts away, freezing for a moment until a yellow hand snaked through her and tugged sharply. Immediately pulled out of it, Yellow looked down at her, expression mixed while removing Blue's hand from her mouth. “You will remain here, now, with me. And I will remind you as many times as it takes, if it kills me.”

“Why do you put up with this behavior?” she whispered.

“Because I am affected also, if only in dreams.”

For Yellow to admit anything like that at all, as time went on, Blue was becoming less shocked to it. At one point during the highlight(s) of their many trysts, they could speak and trust one another. Perhaps their relationship was more like a game of dolls to White, who was both stronger and more capable than themselves... But it was real to them, as much as it could be. As much as they could both handle it, until the inevitable ends began every time. However, it still affected her deeply, and she'd appeared to let go of it for now. She had to, regardless, wisely realizing she could deal with this once she was once again alone in her Imperial Palace.

Yellow let go of her hair and she continued from whence she stopped, a sigh emitting from the warrior's mouth as her flushed, blue lips made their way downward. Hands like silk stroked down Yellow's sides, comfortable there as she pressed kisses down her chest. White hair began to drape when she leaned up, scooting her body down just so. Capturing a nipple in her mouth, she sucked lazily, left hand sliding further to begin to stroke at Yellow's inner thigh. Impatient, Yellow had always disliked how slow Blue could be, but as long as she was in the moment she didn't seem to mind.

That patience was rewarded, as her body began to respond to the knowing laps of her tongue, nipping at it teasingly before popping it out of her mouth. Almost questioningly, Yellow gazed down, but she did not speak for now. The little sensations grew, beginning to shift her body in response when she'd begun to toy with the other one, pinching lightly between two fingertips. Yellow bit her lower lip a bit, back rising slightly from the bed when she pulled, letting go. A decidedly deviant giggle slipped from her lips as Yellow gave her a skeptical, if not warm, look.

Any harder, as she began to kiss and drag her sharp teeth down her abdomen, and she'd be bleeding. It thrilled her but made her nervous at the same time. Blue was so... Different, after all this time, but then again? So was she. Their bodies were so messily laid in the silky blankets and cushions, Blue busily nudging her legs apart until her fingertips could slide down those inner thighs, towards her wetness. It had begun to build, and she ran a finger along her slit. Gazing upwards, she was rewarded with a sigh that carefully dripped down, as though she could have been making that noise over anything.

It was always a game of cat and mouse, even when they were bare together. Dipping two fingertips in, she brushed them gingerly against her clit and Yellow gave her such a warning look. “What, do you wish to rut me again that badly?” she cooed, which drove her respective party to a sarcastic look that rivaled all. It didn't earn her a response, sadly, but the void of their banter was filled with her sudden gasp. Hand moving away, she pulled Yellow by her hips upward, forwards on the bed. Eyes on Yellow, her tongue dipped in and she practically rolled her hips against it. The tip of her tongue went from hole to clit, which already throbbed in between her plump lips.

Dragging her tongue lazily over it, she found herself doing this over and over again as Yellow tried to hold her composure. It would only last so long, they both knew, but she still did this every time and in her own way, Blue found it endearing. When she showed no intention of letting her move at all from her hold, yellow fingers clung deeply to the sheets and a claw or two punctured it. Steadily, she lapped at her clit, watching her try not to squirm. In the end, it showed great strength on her part, especially as it began to throb and even grow in her mouth.

Oh, that's how it was going to be? She was almost excited, chuckling darkly before pulling back a bit, Yellow's eyes half-lidded while she smirked. A gold flush had overtaken her cheeks, not expecting Blue to keep hold of her. But she did, fingertips digging in harder. Hissing a little, Yellow exhaled sharply as she continued to lap at her growing length. Shape-shifting... It always allured Blue closer, but she was somewhere inside herself happy that she had stayed. When it had extended to its full length, she ran the tip of her tongue along the bottom, licking her lips before sucking it into her mouth again. Yellow's long legs hooked around her shoulders and Blue supported her weight, their fluids mixing until she pulled back. It produced an impatient noise, and Blue smiled, happily letting her drop on the bed.

Before Yellow could take her, she had launched forward and straddled her with a quickness. However, she was more than a bit of a tease. Towering above her in the darkness of Yellow's chambers, she ghosted her slick flower against her hardness. When Yellow would try to move her hips upwards she would be pushed back down, with a wagging finger in her face. Blue was silent now, loving each intake of air she'd make Yellow exhale sharply, especially when she pressed her hips down just a bit. But she was impatient, taking the chance when Blue dipped her hips once more.

Ah, yes. That was it. Blue immediately squirmed, whining as Yellow firmly seated herself inside the other. Her eyes lolled shut for a moment, a rare but victorious grin on her face, until Blue herself began to rock her hips. They were so unused to each other that it took time to find any kind of pace, experimentation on the top of the list amongst everything else they'd have to sort through after this. She'd honestly expected Blue to fuck her instead, but would have gone with both, so desperate for Blue's silken touch.

“Mmmn, I – Yes, right there,” she gasped, when they'd both hit their mark, “I missed you... Missed that...”

When she'd set her pace, ass rising and falling in the dim night, she found herself grinding against Yellow when her hips rose just a bit to meet her descent. Their hair seemed to mix together when she leant down, beginning to kiss Yellow with a passion restrained until now. Blue distracted, Yellow took a hold of her hips and moved her body a bit. Blue's eyes widened but she couldn't pull away, melting when their tongues touched. Keeping her in place, she thrusted upwards, prick slamming into her as blue juices dripped down Yellow's flesh. She was always so wet, and easily so, which would explain the voluminous tears.

The humorous thought was lost as they both worked together in a fervor, Yellow's hands dropping as Blue began to lean back, hips doing all of her work. It seemed to provide a feeling that made her pussy clench around Yellow, who exhaled sharply and called her name in a pleasureful drawl. “There won't be anything to miss,” she said, that possessive voice cracking under each spasm of Blue's body, “If you remain with me...”

Her moans turned into whines and soon she was working Yellow's length hard. Her explosion of emotion was almost too much for the other, who for far too long had become complacent with Blue's sadness or anger, whatever the case was that day. Her eyebrows furrowed up, that sweet, calm voice devolving into pleading mewls. She was so close, but needed more, panting in that need. Yellow pulled her down and kissed her hard, not giving her a chance to recover or respond before pulling her down further. Her lips were touching Blue's ear, and she said lowly, “Knees. Now.”

She hardly needed to ask, Blue slipping off of her, embarrassed at the noise Yellow's prick made as it slid out. But it was so hard to present like that, she found, hesitating as she turned around. It was too late to step back, as Yellow got in really close between her legs. Her pulsating length rubbed against Blue's slit, and she instinctively pushed back. Pushing those long locks over, Yellow leaned down and murmured, “Tell your Diamond what you want.”

“Yellow,” she pleaded, near stammer, as she blushed. She even dared to look a little ashamed, which disappeared when Yellow pulled her head back by her hair sharply. She could feel Blue's wetness drip down as she did that. “Ah! A – Ah, Yellow, please don't tease me anymore...”

“Not good enough,” sighed Yellow almost boredly, continuing to rub. The end almost touched her clit, and it made Blue's hips jerk a bit every time. “Try again.”

“I – I can't...”

“You will.”

The strength and authority in her commands made her shudder, and Blue vaguely wondered how long it had been since she'd started down her pathetic road of mental sickness. Whimpering, she turned away, her voice a tiny whisper. “I... Want you.”

“Pardon?” her left hand slid down to Blue's ass, hand lingering there. Blue bit her lip, shaking her head. When she didn't repeat herself, Yellow drew back her hand and smacked her ass sharply. Blue pulled away, body trembling, almost whining audibly. “Again.”

“I want you,” she said, only a little louder. She felt such shame in this, falling back into old habits once again... It wasn't enough, so she received another, her body so hot and needing. Her legs were getting sticky as she squirmed, chest rising and falling with the exertion of her struggle. “Please, I want you to fuck me,” she cried at the particularly sharp smack. “Please, Yellow, like we used to!”

She couldn't possibly say no to that. After a few more painful rubs against her throbbing flesh, she filled her once more and with a quickness. But she held her there for a moment, stroking that hot, pained flesh with gentle fingers. Blue squirmed a little, huffing into the pillows. Her puffy, pretty pussy felt just right and Yellow's hands curled around Blue's shoulders as she pulled her hips back. Blue almost whined again when she thought Yellow was pulling out but she was wrong, happily so. The first hard plunge was met with a delighted squeal that the other adored, her tight hold over Blue pressing her deeper inside when their hips met.

Soon, Blue's face laid squished a bit into the cushions to the side, staring up at Yellow with adoring yet cloudy eyes. Her nipples dragged against to the dampening material every time their hips connected. It wasn't long before those tell-tale noises began to fall from Blue's lips like her tears. Body in full submission, she took Yellow's hard, harsh pace, voice a cry into the dark night when she came hard and fast. But Yellow didn't stop, not even as Blue begged, whimpering over the sensitivity left behind once the high had dropped. However, it didn't drop too far, aided by the hard and pulsing cock inside of her.

The end came too soon for her, and her claws dug into Blue's hips so hard blood was drawn. Neither of them seemed to notice or care, Yellow's normally calm and/or disdainful exterior filled with a flood of sweet noises, even words. It had been too long since they had coupled, and she muffled her orgasmic bliss with the back of Blue's neck. Eyes shutting as she rode it out, pastel yellow liquid dripped out of her lover as her length shrunk back into her body.

They stayed like that for quite some time, silence and stillness replacing the heavy activity of before. Eventually they moved apart and laid on their sides facing each other. Each of them had a flush to their bodies, the dim light making the appearance that much worse. Smiling, Blue's hand rose to touch Yellow's face and they kissed, resting together until the night cycle ended.


	5. Indiscretion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her gaze was one of adoration towards her lesser Diamonds, a separate and diseased look that suggested she found much more fun in terrorizing their lives slowly than immediately hurting them in other ways. Leading them, leading subjects into situations that would play out in front of her in a quiet entertainment suggested she watched far more than she should and was one of the few things that shuddered Yellow's light.

The drastic upturn in their relationship was echoed in Yellow's work, as for the first time in a long time she herself decided to attend her battlefields. In the success, she found herself longing for the days so long ago that she'd seen entire planets overturned under her armies' feet. It was so strange to her servants, who hadn't been commanded to prepare for leave in such a long time, so strange that she'd had to give her order twice. That was already a black mark that made everyone else skitter away quickly, wanting not her sometimes unbearable irritation and the results thereof.

Unfortunately, the news drew White Diamond closer, and Blue had barely the time or the ability to warn her before their leader decided to give Yellow a graced visit. Her face fell as she closed the communication, Blue's voice echoing dully in the air. This was never a delightful visit in her case, her reclusive nature a pet peeve of White's. It had been a few weeks since she'd seen Blue for more than short-lived visits, and they never seemed like they were enough for either of them.

When the doors opened and she heard the click of those shoes, she didn't draw her eyes up from her work. Only when White's hands touched her desk did she bother to acknowledge her. “Yellow,” she said, a hand rising to stroke her hair, “What's this about... A visit to the front lines? Are you honestly considering this? It's... Very out of character.”

Out of character? She grimaced. Had it really been that long? “It shouldn't be out of character but expected of me to serve my people,” said Yellow, bored as she drew her eyes up to White. Neither said anything for a while, until White let go of her. She hated the way the other felt she could do as she pleased to the both of them, Blue and herself. “What, I must ask to do my work?”

“I never said that. However, it is very strange. Does this have to do with your recent visits to Blue?”

Yellow leaned back and White smiled, sitting down in one of the chairs facing her. Folding her legs, her hands followed suit upon her thighs and Yellow felt as though she were about to begin to walk the paved road to hell, the guide too pure to be believed as such. Of course she'd know about that, Blue wrapped around her fingertips like a doll. Perhaps it was her fault, but Yellow couldn't stand her voice let alone her touch. It was something Blue dealt with herself, as Yellow remained in her own palaces without guilt or hesitation.

“I didn't know my life had reached your ever-listening ears, White. I suppose I should have expected as such. Were I to tell you no, you would not believe me regardless. So, let's continue this conversation based on 'yes', because my words are meaningless anyways...”

“Perhaps I am open to listening to you, but you are correct in one thing: as to Blue, everything you say is meaningless to me. I am far older than you, and have seen more than my fair share of trysts.” from a sleeve, she drew a data pad and tossed it idly upon Yellow's desk. She hesitated at taking the thing, fingertips drawing across the metal until she did so. Turning it on, the machine interfaced with her desk and she leaned back. Immediately a full profile of herself began to run through the holographic screen. “But I am surprised at your forward thinking. Maybe I am curious as to how your chasing her has affected your performance. What, do you intend to give your winnings to her? Much more dignified than the sacrifice of lesser gems, from eons ago.”

She shut her eyes and leaned back in her own chair, fingers rubbing her temples before she'd simply pinched the bridge of her nose. It wasn't pleasant, the knowledge that her activities had been logged. Blue knew how to command a conversation and she knew that whatever drawn out of her was to be chaste, changing the subject entirely. Opening her eyes after a while's thought, she chose her words carefully. There was no winning with this woman, man, whatever she happened to be; Thankfully she didn't have to guess, defaulting to 'she', for her frame was covered in robes. Always so elegant, Yellow wondered if she'd ever had a bad day in her life by the way she looked. However, that innate disgust reminded her that she certainly had.

“I believe that the present and future are what matters. If I have to drag Blue kicking and screaming from the hellish grief she has thrown herself into with full intent, I'll do it. If I can do something about the decline of our empire before we're a laughingstock to the universe, I'll do it. I am only doing what is right.”

“What is right, or what is convenient?”

“Convenience implies I work not for my accomplishments, taking the easy way out. I assure you I have been clawing through the star charts looking for answers, and want nothing more than to assess my troops. I want to see what is working, what is not, and what we need most. Whether or not I visit her matters not in the grand scheme of things.”

A smile curled on White's face. “I have missed your aggressive neutrality towards me. It's quite the difference from absolute silence.”

Yellow was surprised at the footage that began to play once the scrolling was over, eyes narrowing considerably when she witnessed herself attacked by Blue, and a brief audio of what came next. Throughout it, White kept still and calm, just as she always was. What a mess, something that sent her into a rage barely concealed behind her royal exterior. She wouldn't let White have this to laugh about, gritting her teeth. “You promised privacy except in the case of true emergency. How long have you been watching? Do I need to find those cameras, smash them in my hands?”

“I only wanted to be sure of the truth towards your visits. Besides, I am your Supreme Leader,” she said, voice dripping into a dark warning. “And I can do exactly as I please, in the care given to my trusted, devoted, lesser Diamonds. Besides,” she laughed, the darkness in her eyes fading away. “I do enjoy it so, when the both of you tolerate each other...”

“My life is not your entertainment.”

“I'll have to visit you more,” said White, who leaned forward to give her such a profiling gaze. “You need socialization. A pity, Yellow; You are devoted but disobedient to me. Why is this? I have given you everything, as your creator. I have even allowed you space in your difficult times, hoping and praying that you both find some way to move past your horrors. Yet, you are no closer to me...”

When their eyes connected, she could feel that familiar power, that coaxing that was hard to draw away from. Though she practically left Blue to her own misery under White, Yellow refused to fall for her cursed arms. Their history, all of them, it read like a horror but the desperation of a post-apocalyptic scenario. They had been through this millions of times, and nothing good came of it. Their complicated interpersonal problems left much to be desired in times of need, finding only silence and servants bound by bloody, threatened rule.

She thought about Blue and it felt distorted again, her image. Yellow could only see white, territorial arms curling about their bodies. Her claws sunk in hard but her gaze was one of adoration, a separate and diseased look that suggested she found much more fun in terrorizing their lives slowly than immediately hurting them in other ways. Leading them, leading subjects into situations that would play out in front of her in a quiet entertainment that suggested she watched far more than she should was one of the few things that shuddered her light. Yellow wasn't one to question what White actually did with her time, but she and Blue both felt familiar unease.

“Pink Diamond was very pretty, but gone too soon.”

This snapped her out of her thought, giving White a long-suffering look. Her face didn't change, implying either disrespect or forced calm. Either way, she didn't like it. “Do we have to do this?”

“We can go on pretending that things are fine, forcing me to monitor the both of you as though I were a parent. I truly wish to spend my time doing anything else, anything else than watching her cry and you throw out yet another guard for breathing incorrectly! But it can be entertaining, regardless of how disappointing your lives have become. If you wish to go, you may. But go with clear mind and conscience, as you will be at the front of conquest; These are jaded women, obviously. I fear you forget your role during this troubled time. So yes, I shall repeat myself...”

Yellow cringed a little, and hoped it wasn't noticeable.

“Pink Diamond was very pretty, but gone too soon. I think it's wonderful that you both are connecting again, but I implore you to act as a grown, mature Diamond should. I want no distractions, if you truly are devoting yourself, finally, to your work. I am so fatigued of dealing with what you two should be.”

Yellow scoffed, literally smacking a fist on the power pad, the screens turning off. “I thought you enjoyed your role as alpha dog and megalomaniac?” she asked, sarcastically.

“Do not disappoint me.”

Even the air felt weird as she ignored Yellow's comment, standing from the chair she sat in. They didn't need to breathe but she needed to exhale without White there. Her hair, luxurious and held back with pins, almost swished in the air as she turned. So fluffy, sharp with points, it moved in the air as she walked. The doors were opened hastily as she exited, ornate clothing dragging behind her as she left. That delightful, missed clang of the doors led to Yellow's slump onto her desk. Her cheek squished against the smooth surface, her Pearl rushing over immediately as another knock came forth.

“Tell her she can stimulate her social gland elsewhere, for I am entirely exhausted of stalker behavior and carefully crafted threats. I --”

“My Diamond, the visitor is...”

The left door opened and Blue slipped inside, minutes later. It was clear that she'd waited until White had left by warp, laughing echoed in the hallway. She had a concerned look, shutting it behind her. She waved away their servants, wishing for privacy. Hands folded in front of her, she scuttled forward to Yellow's desk. The warrior didn't look up for a moment, hoping that it wasn't just another repeat performance. A blue hand came down to begin stroking her hair, Yellow slowly drawing up to look at her. Oh, she was so relieved! She took her long-sleeved arm, kissing her hand as her eyes shut again.

They didn't have to speak, knowing too well what those visits were like and what they could turn into. But Blue pulled her up, Yellow's eyebrows raising in question once she'd stood up fully. She let go of the other, her slim hands traveling up her chest. “You are to travel,” she said, almost excitedly. “Another adventure, the reclusive knight pulling from her silence to rally her troops...”

“I simply long for... More exciting work, I suppose.”

“But it means that we will be separated.”

Each Diamond had their set work, and Blue's court was far less violent than Yellow's own. But it did draw a laugh that made Blue quite confused, tilting her head in question. Cupping Blue's face in her hands, she smiled slowly, pressing their foreheads together. She was so confused but accepted the touch, her hands still from force to keep the telltale shake from affecting this moment when they'd risen to touch Yellow's own. Sighing, her hands slid down to rest on Blue's hips.

“Do you wish to accompany me?” asked Yellow, but hesitantly. Blue was sensitive, empathic towards issues of violence. It was difficult to press her to war, but she loved her empire enough to do what was necessary when the times came. “The idea of it... Working together, Blue, it reminds me --”

“'Of the days when you both cared of things other than yourselves',” mocked Blue quietly, of White Diamond. This drew a still from Yellow, before a smile curled on her face and Blue let her go, hands drawing to her mouth to laugh quietly. “I will go, if only to cease her voice filling my halls like an auditory plague. Yellow, I wish to see your progress. With my help, perhaps... Perhaps we can do as you were saying. Our combined power would do nothing but good, so long as we continue to... Play nicely.”

“I want nothing more,” said Yellow almost too quickly, which led to Blue putting a finger upon her lips. Hand lowering after, she leaned upwards to press a kiss there, which was returned after the brief shock Yellow knew would go away once they had been together for longer... If it was meant to be, this time. They both were horrible pessimists but perhaps they could find a way to accept the cup half empty or half full, the relationship on an easy curve to the wrong places if they slipped just a bit. Pulling back, Blue nodded.

“I will pull together what I need. Ah, I used to find the planning of such long outings so abysmally boring, tedious... But this will be something I shall find excitement in.”

“If it keeps you from your ocean of tears, I'd be happy to let your procession walk alongside mine if only for the sake of our sanity.” She stroked Blue's face for a moment before letting go. “When... Shall I see you again? For this must be planned perfectly before we set foot upon any craft.”

“Privately, or for work-related reasons?”

The shrewd woman! Yellow rolled her eyes, letting any air of lust or laughter fade away. “Tsk, Blue... You know yourself that I would see you, regardless, so long as you and I are not sitting in absolute, wordless silence. You know how much I hate that.”

“I'll call for you if you attend court seven cycles in a row,” promised Blue. “But you must do so. After all, we must at least look as though we are serious in our roles. White will want nothing less, of course. I will be far too busy, and will look forward to that time as I draw my work to a close. Please, try not to disappoint me,” she teased. At least she was nicer about this than White was, unable to shake that black void and White's arms from her mind.

Expectations set forth, she turned, beginning to walk away from not only Yellow's grasp but her sight, too. “I want to believe this will be different,” said Yellow. “I did not and do not enjoy the games we've all navigated through, like an unplanned mine field.”

“The enemy of my enemy is my friend,” quipped Blue, before the large doors shut. It was far too silent again, Yellow left only with the warning White had tossed upon her desk. They were being watched, and it was up to them to do something about it. They needed to be leaders, regardless of their interpersonal relationships. But if it came with such... Perks, Yellow would never complain. Returning to her work, she had a long pilgrimage to plan, especially with the tiring headache that was coordination with the Blue Court. Though she would enjoy the time spent with her, this trip meant much more than that. She had to be a leader, and Yellow was fully intent on reminding her of that.


	6. Damage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was so silly of her, talking to a plant. Whatever it was, it wouldn't tell her anything; She wasn't that kind of gem, able to truly commune with nature. Pink was supposed to be the great division between organic and inorganic life, a thing that she only began to understand with her presence. They had begun to get Yellow atop the fence, to give such things a chance... It all seemed so far away. The growth of the tree had slowed, but occasionally appeared larger in the distance between visits. A quiet place, Yellow never ventured there anymore and Blue could wander from memory in complete solitude. Though large, she'd been through the paths millions of times.

The Factions functioned well only if the three of them got along and could work in synergy. They had their unique roles, but alongside them fell an untouchable but revered religious caste. Under direct ruling of White Diamond, the mysterious gems that laid beyond their bejeweled doors could do almost anything and had jurisdiction on high trials, should it warrant such. Yellow found it ridiculous, the idea of it, though it was up to the individual whether or not to believe in the abilities that seemed so occult and unknown. Of course, a gem could do a great many things and they were no strangers to it even in their omnipresence; A scientist could tell you anything, or at least, they should be able to.

Blue had found herself wandering idly in the crystal gardens three cycles into her request of Yellow, the glow enough to light her way. It was kept dark for a reason, these partially organic plants bred carefully and specifically down to their choice of sustenance. She was in the thick of it, thinking about a great many things. Before White had graced Yellow with her... Graceful presence, she'd seen her first. For the first time she'd been unable to keep this from dripping over into Yellow's Imperial Palace.

Normally there wasn't much to say, and that almost seemed better, but where there was some solace to be found that's where you could find her. It was difficult, but she wanted nothing more than to be able to forget. She couldn't, even though she tried. Stopping when she'd gotten to a particularly odd-looking tree, she looked upwards and gazed at the many colored crystals that replaced what should have been leaves. It was a blackened, gnarled thing, that should not have been graced with the beauty it had. The ground glittered with rainbow light. Not all of the crystals glowed but a fair bit did, and she sat down there, head pressing against whatever material was used to compose it.

This had belonged to Pink, and was one of the few remaining things of hers in the gardens mostly because it was beautiful in its own way. The unfortunate thing about it was that it broke through the floor, which was smooth and planned everywhere else. They'd had to dispose of a few expensive plants because of it, and it was never really fixed. The floor was fractured where the strange roots had grown, and Pink's only defense was 'I didn't think I could make it grow'. White had been so humored by the tree that it was permitted to stay, even though she and Yellow couldn't find the beauty in it at first. Rose Quartz wasn't the first one that found value in things, though she admitted the lives they wanted to live were so very different. It was all up to opinion, in the end.

“Why do you look so glum, until one gazes upon your leaves? Are you trying to tell me something?”

It was so silly of her, talking to a plant. Whatever it was, it wouldn't tell her anything; She wasn't that kind of gem, able to truly commune with nature. Pink was supposed to be the great division between organic and inorganic life, a thing that she only began to understand with her presence. They had begun to get Yellow atop the fence, to give such things a chance... It all seemed so far away. The growth of the tree had slowed, but occasionally appeared larger in the distance between visits. A quiet place, Yellow never ventured there anymore and Blue could wander from memory in complete solitude. Though large, she'd been through the paths millions of times.

“Of course you aren't, you old, gnarled thing...”

When she said this, it occurred to her that she wasn't exactly young, herself. Slowly pulling down her veil, Blue sighed and leaned against it. The air was cool, though it took extra shifting to give them the ability to feel it. The silence was calming, after her long day of court. Preparing for a full pilgrimage through the stars, the hardest part seemed to be White's insistence of an auspicious day, as though it mattered. Though she was loyal to her in a way Yellow had managed to avoid for so long, she immediately felt guilty over disrespecting White's process. Biting and sucking on her lower lip for a moment, a wave of calm seemed to begin to flow throughout her limbs, from the tree itself. Happily she slumped, happy to nap there. Today, at least, she would not be required to meet with the religious caste. Yellow would hate it, as she always did, herself only a little more tolerant.

In her sleep, she barely noticed the footsteps of their Supreme Leader. It didn't matter to her, as it could have meant anything or anyone was approaching. White Diamond gazed upon her and held up her hand sharply, stopping her line of Pearls. With an easy gesture she sent them away, and she was left with Blue in silence. Crouching down, she watched the other sleep for a time. It was almost cute, but unfortunate for Blue in that they were alone after Yellow's misstep. She only smiled, a hand reaching out to touch her face. When their skin connected, Blue's eyes snapped open and if the tree hadn't have been there she probably would have fallen. The light was dim but she could make White out perfectly.

“Come here often?” White teased, however quietly. When Blue didn't answer, she in the motion of scrambling to her feet, she drew closer. Turning around, she faced White with a fearful, however stoic calm. Her body betrayed her as she sharply twitched, but it didn't affect the other. “I am not surprised. This tree... Does things, to the mind. Come, Blue. Walk with me.”

At a loss of understanding she still followed her, and soon they were traveling through the expansive enclosure. She didn't dare to look up at White, who walked so casually! Perhaps it was because she truly owned the place, but Blue could never understand the harsh difference between work and rest when it came to her. However, this slim amount of personal space was invaded too, leaving Blue at a loss for words. She didn't like physical contact unless she initiated it, so few with the ability to do as they liked. White was one of them, and by her very nature she enjoyed invading her space. So, she could only smile and bear it.

With her free hand she began to pull her veil back on but White stopped sharply and stepped in front of her with the kind of militant gusto she expected out of Yellow. The material was ripped from her hands, Blue's grip so hard the material tore between them until she just let it go. White looked down at what she was holding, before gripping it hard enough the strain showed. The object began to wither, it seemed, and Blue tried to step away from the force of her ability but White held her still. In fact, she pulled her just a bit closer, as that shine went over the black and withered veil. Turning her face away, it was the best she could do. The veil shattered not unlike a gem, but turned to powder the moment White let it go.

Standing in silence, Blue was more shocked at the very idea White would hurt her so. It shouldn't have been a surprise, considering that they both had been harping at her for ages to just... Forget, but it was. A harsh reminder of her fragile existence, as she fought herself from trying to wrench away. She hated her Leader like this, so cold and irrational in her ever-calm presence.

“Why would you want to be here?” she began. The words struck her silent. “What do you ever see here that doesn't make you feel worse than you do...”

It sounded wrong, from her mouth. Blue shut her eyes, suddenly realizing a harsh truth Yellow had run and abstained from as she delved deeper into the comforting yet dangerous arms of White. When it was clear she was trying to ignore it, the grip on her wrist tightened and she was forced to pay attention.

“What's the use of feeling, Blue?” she noticed her pain, and laughed, the sound hollow and mysterious. “What, when Yellow says it, you're fine? But the moment I register your weakness... This is unfortunate. Your coupling determines the end of your grief. I refuse to allow you to break one more doctrine in your wild emotional state. Now I ask you why, Blue? Why is it you run from me, too?”

“White,” she could barely say, voice threatening to break. “You're hurting me.”

“Do you not think it hurts me when you say one thing, and do another? Perhaps I could see beyond your return to Yellow, but to say nothing to me...”

“It wasn't exactly planned,” she attempted, only to feel those sharp claws before she pulled back entirely. It was only for a moment, that exhale of relief not allowed to form when White's hands curled around her upper arms. She threatened to rip the material unknowingly, their eyes connecting in a show of power. “And I knew you would see it. Why, now, do you ask me? After more than a few cycles had passed?”

“I had to come to terms with the idea that you both are going to enter another dark ocean from which you'll claw away from each other, screaming.” If their words were not enough, she could feel that barely held anger from her Leader, who had some special kind of rage she could only guess towards. The idea of these relationships happening was not new, but she suspected it had a lot more to do with the fact that Yellow could barely show her face in front of White outside of court than her own behavior or who she decided to bed with. “Blue, if your grief is over – which you have chosen yourself, in your erratic lovemaking – I will not sit idly and let Yellow tear you away from me.”

Even if Blue wanted to say anything to that she couldn't, blinking for a bit as she rationalized White's words. That had always been her problem, framing the two in the best light so she could try to forget their crazed actions. For once, she wanted to tell her no, that she could not simply take away from her a sadness flowered thousands of years before that moment... But, she would not. For she saw the beauty of what was her life when they all got along, when there was never a 'them' against 'I', and wanted nothing but some kind of normality. It wasn't right to her, the others finding delight in the control of her light, but she was so tired. It didn't register anymore, after all those years of crying and wishing they could all somehow be happy again.

In the time that had passed, the three of them had warped and twisted under the constant reminder and upkeep of their empire. Would it matter, her fear? Her wants and needs, if she submitted once more to a relationship open to all three of them? They were to see each other as equals, until White wanted or needed of them. Swallowing back that special fear, that suffering that had led her to run from the both of them in the beginning, she attempted to speak. It came out only in squeaks, which the other silenced with a finger on her mouth. Shutting her eyes, she realized that she had done the same thing to Yellow and wondered briefly how good an idea it was to spend her time around White as she had done.

Without Pink, she had suffered emotionally, seeing a new side to themselves as individuals. But White was there, as her relationship with Yellow grew into an emotionally distant dream that only filled her head of its memories when the worst times came. And there she was again, bargaining, that she'd do anything if it meant Pink Diamond would appear and take the place of White. But she didn't, Blue didn't expect her to, those thoughts little more than a depressing intrusion.

“I understand, really, I do.” the words shocked her, but White had let her go entirely and had begun walking again. Following her with a quickness, Blue only looked at the floor ahead of her. Always drug along by one of them, her fear of one day dying like their predecessors or, heavens forbid, Pink, kept her from stepping out herself. They knew that, they had to, and it was a torment Blue wished she could dream away. Always following, but never leading... White's advice was solid, however two-faced and sometimes laced with venom. “You are tired. Lonely, even; Your grief is tiring. We all felt that fatigue, me? So many times, before the two of you were a full success. What I saw in that surveillance was enough to make me even support it. You fought, and became one. Who am I to drive that apart...?”

The shoe was going to fall, she knew it.

“You both looked so happy...”

Blue bit her lip.

“I felt so tortured. I have been there for you throughout this entire mess, yet you return to a woman who, last I had heard? Threw you out for saying the wrong things, or whatever it was that left you with markings I could only guess at.”

There it was. She stopped, hands folding in front of her as she looked away once more. Blue didn't realize until then just how much she relied on her veil for some sort of camouflage. To look away, to hide from the things that made her weak.

“What have I done so wrong to you? Have I not treated you well in these past years? Or, is it because I treated you so well?” The barrage of questions came with a shaking voice, and she could see White stiffen. Carefully, she took a few silent steps backwards. “Whatever it is, I will not see you out of my reach because you both have reached some sort of emotional plateau. I am your intervention, Blue Diamond. And I am telling you that if you leave my arms entirely, there will be no one to catch you when she falls.”

When she falls? What in the world did she mean by that?

“Yellow Diamond is Yellow Diamond, Blue. Not some young gem who will easily promise and keep said promise to you. We've watched this play out before – excuse me, no, we've both experienced her love and expectation. She runs, Blue. Perhaps we have been harsh on you, but you deal with actual reality on a daily basis, unlike she, who hides from me. How could I be mad at you? I can not stop you from attaching to her side, should you join her pilgrimage. But I can worry, and I can keep track of you both.”

“White --”

“Did I say I was finished speaking?” Blue silenced immediately. “You poor girl. Look at this, a night in Yellow's bed and you're already forgetting everything you've been taught. Now, this isn't a punishment. I care for Yellow as much as you do, even more so based on the strict fact that I am your Supreme Leader. I created you, Blue...”

She turned around sharply, her eyebrows furrowed. A rare show of emotion, and it had Blue right in her hands again. They both knew that, as the sparkling tears of Blue's eyes began to drip slowly.

“I created you both. Please, be better this time. I love to hold you, to take care of you – both of you – in our struggles and triumphs. Bring her back to me, darling. Let the three of us be whole again, so we can recover from this deep chasm of our long-suffered making. Yes?” she wiped Blue's tears away, as the woman could only nod and blankly so. “Good girl. This is all I wanted, see? No harm, no yelling. I have already moved past the events I've seen, recorded in many places. All I want is for you to bring her closer to me, again. To us. I want to love you...”

Blue's eyes shut again, as she was drawn into White's arms, hair stroked and curled around her light fingertips. Of course to a degree, she felt comforted. As though what she and Yellow had done meant nothing, as though White had truly moved on. It was a safe, comfortable thought. But just when she thought White was done speaking, she felt one of the other's hands curl into her hair and pull it back just a bit so their eyes were meeting. There was a smile upon her face, however... Expectant.

“Both of you.”

This left her speechless, as White pressed a kiss to her lips and forehead. As quickly as this had started it had begun to end, and the other had let her go, turning away to leave. “The tree is reactant to our gems and our gems only, save for a specific few. Pink Diamond wished for us to always feel happy when we were in this place, to feel wanted and safe. It's like a powerful drug, Blue. Be careful not to stay here too long, for it could truly hurt you. No matter what we do, it keeps growing back, and I fear I've become too fond of it to keep trying. Try to remind yourself of that, Blue... No matter how far or how angry I may become, in the end, I will always love both of you.”

Walking away, her Pearls fell back into formation and her personal guards followed suit. It was almost as if it hadn't happened, the way White seemed to appear and disappear. Beginning to walk back, she stopped at the tree and touched it one more time. It was warm, inviting... Coaxing her to stay. Ripping her arm back in surprising, abject terror, she realized something, a truth that occurred to them only sometimes in the chaotic landscape of their lives:

Yellow had no way of running, and neither did she. No matter where they went, there would always be someone to watch every intimate moment, every weak day. White was shameless enough to watch them even at the Zoo. Even now as she gazed upon what she was still fighting for as her favorite tree, mentally, that had been torn from her with such a brief and tormenting conversation. Even this place seemed blackened, just like her veil. Instead of tugging at it and wringing her hands in the material, her hair seemed to fall into its absence and she could feel the embarrassed heat of her gem. They all had to have some sort of agreeable option, she thought, as the infighting between Yellow and White could sometimes be too much. How could this impossible rekindling even begin to tempt Yellow forward?

It would be harder for them to figure out each other this way, to try to find a better kind of common ground. The clang of the doors reminded her she was now, at the moment, alone. Staring at the stars through those precious windows, Blue wondered if the silence of loneliness was worse than the roaring, ethereal sounds of space. It wasn't until the bells rang that she realized just how long she'd been there, realizing the day cycle had ended. She turned away from those stars and that tree, which seemed to twinkle brighter once night had come.


	7. Reverence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The only grave she seemed to acknowledge was Pink's, and it was probably for good reason. She'd often said that the three of them were the best she'd produced, and perhaps it was true. They weren't as weak as they thought, and together they found it somewhat easier to bear the harsh reality of a populous awakening and hating their station in life. Though over time they had recovered what Rose Quartz had tainted, it just wasn't the same.

There was a careful avoidance of Yellow the following day, eyes drawn elsewhere. The veil's disappearance caused quite the uproar in court. She decided to take advice she'd given Yellow so many times, of how to completely find yourself lost from White Diamond. Only her personal Pearl followed her this day, through darkened hallways that were rarely traversed except for handmaidens and cleaners. It was dark enough that she found herself comforted in the camouflage of the solemn place. When she was sure that she was far enough, she stopped, the doors sliding shut so far away.

The walls were cramped even for a Diamond, and she was thankful for being smaller than White. Though it felt comforting she felt her eyes burning. Barely having made it through court, her body felt weak... Or was it her gem? The self is made of light, the light is of your gem. Your gem is your entire soul, a living computer. Yes... or no? It didn't matter, in the end. Nobody was free from their eventual death, as their weak point would be so prominent that it would be easy to kill. Did her life matter?

She began to cry, cursing how emotional she was. “Stop it,” she muttered to herself, beginning to walk forward again. The further she went the dustier it seemed to be, but it was clear she wasn't the only one there. If there wasn't, the lighting would not have already cut on to its dim glow. Surely she wouldn't have to deal with someone here, of all places! Stepping quieter than she did before, her tears fell in silence. It wasn't possible, she wasn't going to have to deal with this here, too. Unfortunately for her, Yellow had already traversed this hallway and made it to the chambers of what was a large tomb meant for royalty. The only place she knew she'd have peace, that tree poisoned in her mind for a while.

Her footsteps stopped when she saw her there, staring upwards at the murals and carvings of distant pasts. Arms folded behind her back, she knew that Blue was there, but didn't say anything. The mouse outfit that was their work that day had tired her out, as well. She didn't know what happened but knew Blue was upset. It was odd, however, that she gave her space this time. Maybe White had visited her, too. Regardless of the reason, Blue could only sigh as she stepped forward.

“Do you know about any of these gems? I ask White if they are Diamonds, and she only laughs.” her voice was calm, but it registered to Blue a voice from so far away... As far as this short, wild ride had gone so far, of course. Before she'd bothered to bug Blue in visits, before she found it in herself to admit that there had been nothing any of them could have done for Pink. No matter what, Rose Quartz would have had an opening, and that was that. “Sometimes, she'll say that it's her pain to bear. They obviously are, aren't they? But there are no records of death. Perhaps she'll clutch those close to her cold, hollow gem forever.”

“I try not to think about it,” said Blue after a period of thought. “Our first lesson was on our strength and the responsibility of our tiny subjects. Such impossible strength we have, how to use it properly...”

“So gods and goddesses die like dogs, too?”

“Now you begin to understand what I've been thinking about all these years...”

They didn't look at each other, because it seemed too much. Yellow gestured to the left wall of this grim entrance, lit only by hundreds of candles. It was obscene. White refused to tell them her age and they avoided a special kind of horror because of it. Was it worth the cost, their ignorance? Apparently they had reached a point together in their lives where it seemed too much. Blue walked over to it, fingers running along the carvings. She put her hand over the Diamond's face, after noting its particular look. In full armor, she had a glorious tale but a sad ending. Buried with her concubines, though they were alive. She couldn't stand its face, remembering an old tale her Pearl had told her upon request. Yellow leaned against the altar, the Moon Goddess staring down at them in her infinite wisdom and probable blindness. The stories always differed, unless you bothered to buy into White's religious nonsense.

They both spent such a long time in their thoughts that Blue didn't notice her hand fall and Yellow didn't notice the wax on her hand. It burnt, but she paid no mind as she peeled it off, staring at the slight burn mark. Turning to her, Blue began to speak. “I avoid the other grave sites. I only come for Pink, because I feel like every other story here has ended in such an upsetting way. I was told that a knight loved her slaves so much that they were buried with her. The Pearls enjoy their gossip and stories, you see? This is who they meant, I suppose. Apparently, if you wander above this grave upstairs, you can hear the tip-taps and noises of her once-beautiful Pearls below... If they even are Pearls anymore. She was so fond of them, they had names...”

Yellow stopped, surprised that Blue would tell her this at all. She didn't act like it, however, eyes stoic and set on her hands. Her gloves were off, Blue noticed. In truth, Yellow had taken them off when she saw that Blue had lost her veil. Their eyes connected and she couldn't keep it going for long, turning away from Blue to walk towards the opposite wall. When she wasn't looking, Blue's crying commenced again, much against her want. Wiping it away when it became too much, she took a lantern from the wall and walked to stand next to her again.

There were many stories and rumors they could tell each other, though it hardly seemed appropriate in a place like this. But it was also one of the few places that they were truly alone, for even White avoided this place a good portion of the time. The only grave she seemed to acknowledge was Pink's, and it was probably for good reason. She'd often said that the three of them were the best she'd produced, and perhaps it was true. They weren't as weak as they thought, and together they found it somewhat easier to bear the harsh silence of a populous awakening and hating their station in life. Though over time they had recovered what Rose Quartz had tainted, it just wasn't the same.

Blue held out her free hand, her left, and waited for Yellow to notice. When she did, her gaze dropped down and she thought about it for a long while. Finally she took her hand, and cleared her throat. The silence was maddening to her, and Blue knew that. The wall that had built between their courts was still high, even as they chipped away at it. It was just so large, strong and foreboding, just as the disturbing descriptions of their predecessors. They walked in tandem, Yellow obviously unnerved by the skin to skin contact, but she was trying. That was so important to Blue, who was beginning to understand her better. She had to think of something to say, anything, before Yellow became too unnerved and simply left her there to sit in her silence with the remains of who knows how many victims lay in the walls.

“I asked her why she would pay attention to this nonsense, and she admitted to me that they are cautionary tales. I shouldn't have done that, really, because it encouraged her to keep talking...”

Yellow looked down at her, almost curious in her obvious disgust. Blue inhaled a bit, more for her own sanity than anything. As they got further in, she was thankful for her thoughtfulness in that lantern, for she felt too anxious to make her gem glow for long. Her counterpart seemed so tired, almost as dead as the air that surrounded them and the many gem shards, she assumed. She didn't act like this normally, but then again, she'd taught herself not to notice. Out of sight, out of mind, though Blue's off stare seemed enough to get her attention.

“She told me that she knew another story, a really interesting one. I told her to continue, as I relaxed and began to smoke. I was amused until just now, seeing that face. There was another that committed unforgivable treason against White, garish enough to do it publicly. She was lashing out because in a fit of rage, our Leader punished her for... for getting hurt. Her gem chipped, and it was unacceptable. These were different times, obviously, Yellow. Times where we didn't have waves of rebels and failure was completely unacceptable. Rank was pulled and this Diamond disliked the idea of what we would call probation from her newly won status in court. She pulled her weapon and decided to hurt her back.”

“And?”

“She was absolutely crushed but not killed. White applauded her bravado, finding it almost hilarious that she fought so well and fell so hard. She was given two choices: Absolute submission or exile. I already dislike what we face from her, Yellow, but this was too much for her to bear. If she had two options, suffering or suffering with White, she was too proud to pick one. She killed herself, and that's why there are palace ruins in the Badlands. I asked my Pearl if they knew their colors, and alas, they did not.”

“Do they have some ridiculous ghost story to follow it? I suppose I would put nothing past the spite I feel in these halls.”

“No. Well, I don't know if I would consider this such... She had a woman on track to be her lesser queen, who she left behind. She cursed the ground White walked on and told her that until the empire fell she would remain and ruin every aspect of her life. You know how she is about superstition, even today... So the place was demolished. I wish I could have seen it. The ruins are quite grand.”

“How petty. I would hope that they found some peace, but I'm not confident.” Yellow stopped, then, when they reached a set of doors. They both hesitated, knowing what laid beyond it. Instead, Blue turned, and began to look at the giant tablets with their small but telling descriptions. They were all so unique, but she could feel only guilt in the stones. She walked forward, pressing her forehead against a tablet that didn't have a description. It was different than the others, in that it had a color listed, whereas the others didn't. Orange. Though she was a powerful gem in her own right, in her grief her powers had scattered, so much so that it was more a guessing game about feelings and thoughts.

It was so easy to just hire a gem to do every tiring action for her, even if she felt it made her softer. Yellow put a hand on her shoulder but said nothing, staring at the gem, who bore a cape and such strange, short hair. Straight, flat; her clothes were a mystery. “I was under the impression that all of them listed no colors, but this one...”

“You did say that you pay little attention. Neither do I, Blue. Perhaps I should, but I have enough suffering to do without worrying about the deaths of ancient women that probably would have hated us for our behavior and in White's eyes, emotional insolence.”

“She came to you,” acknowledged Blue sadly.

“I was told she visited you as well. What insanity is she on about now? She can't take away the actions of this expanded eternity. I'm going, whether she likes it or not. I simply... Came here to think.” pushing the doors open, there was a mostly empty room but in front of them was Pink's image carved immaculately into her tablet. A white, plain area, it always unsettled Yellow and made Blue feel remarkably small. “Even here, she reminds us that she is our divine creator. I have nowhere to rest that doesn't remind me, in some small way, of her. Pink deserved better.”

The sudden outburst startled Blue, and it served to further that when Yellow simply sat down upon the floor like she had the habit of doing in her rooms or as witnessed the Zoo. She wasn't like that, usually, a preference to chairs and mature ways of doing things. Blue stood for a long time, trying to figure out what to say. Yellow needed her but as usual the words drowned within her like her rationality and the memory of Pink, down and deep until she couldn't speak anymore. Upon noticing the shake of her hands, Yellow rolled her eyes and took her arm, pulling Blue gently down.

Startled, she sat, but kept her silence for a long time. She never spoke like this, and she didn't expect it to last long. Yellow found it endearing, the way her voice caught in the air every time she tried to speak and failed. Sighing, Blue shut her eyes. It was refreshing, the lack of eyes upon her. Even more surprising it was when the other laid back against the smooth, cool floor. It felt so odd to Blue to be sitting here like this with Yellow, who she wasn't even sure visited this place at all. But it was clear she did, in her comfort. Looking down at her slowly, her eyes opening cautiously, she bit her lip.

“I am afraid,” Blue admitted. “Afraid of angering her further. I hate it. We are reduced to --”

“She is ill. You know that.”

“How long is that an explanation before it becomes an excuse?” said Blue wearily. “I want things to be the way they were more than anybody, but I see not the right answer.”

Slowly Blue laid next to her and Yellow actually had a smile on her face. She was almost offended, eyebrows furrowing just a little. Turning her face to her, she gestured to the tablet. “Her answer was always some vague variation of 'let it be'. Of course, I found her far too optimistic, but the way she kept the four of us going was something to herald to the heavens above. I'm just not ready to talk to her.”

“Your lack of ability to talk to her and our inability to get along a good portion of the time have unfortunately intersected into an obsessive worry on White's part that I have to deal with. Yellow, just apologize and share me the burden of this. She won't be satisfied until we are all --”

Yellow shushed her with a sudden kiss, which felt obscene but genuine. Her eyes were wide as plates and it seemed to please the other, of whom was pushed back quickly. Sitting up, she held a hand over her lips and stared at Pink's tablet. A hand rose to stroke at Blue's lower back, the owner of whom prayed silently that she would get her point. Alone in the silence together, her hand stilled when Blue turned back to look at her. The gaze was filled of mixed emotions, guilt but acceptance. Excitement, but fear. It felt wrong to do that here, the smallest of physical connection already disrespectful of the dead. However, she laid back, taking Yellow's hand. She seemed pleased, when Blue did so.

“I'm not concerned with what satisfies her right now, Blue. I only came here to talk over my plans and how difficult you'll be during the travel, as you always are when I'm around. Perhaps it's because I enjoy your pining for solid ground, but this has to go well. And one last thing...”

Blue froze, unknowing and fearful of what she could say next.

“I find it tragic that you can not kiss me in front of her. You used to enjoy it, as it would make her laugh and praise me for my patience. Do you not see my opportunity to spend time with you both, in a way we used to so many cycles ago? Have you forgotten what White pines for so desperately?”


End file.
